Day 1

This is me. My life. My feelings. My actions. I have thought about where I should start, and figure there is no where better to start than the present. So here we go. Today is a new year, January 3, 2012. I have a headache And my toenails need to be painted. People around me are making resolutions, trying to change their lives for the better. Everday I wake up and try to make my life better. And every night I go to bed and pray of how ashamed I am that I feel like I haven't done good enough or I haven't tried hard enough. I have guilt you wouldn't believe. And over what you might ask? Over life, and over my decisions. You see I have gone through a lot inu past and present, and probably future. It's like I try to be a good person but I just don't try hard enough and I never succeed. I can go put with some friends and have no intentions of being a bad person. Yet by the end of the night I can have smoked two blunts and still not feel guilty until I lay on bed at night. Now I can understand where you might say "oh she only feels guilty on front of god". Well, not really. It's not that I feel bad because someone is looking at my life and seeing all that I do wrong, but te fact that I am very guilty within myself. Maybe I'm writing to tell my story. Maybe I'm writing to get rid of guit. Maybe even to find all of my guilt, or maybe I just need somewhere to be me. Somewhere I can go and say what I think, without judgement, so here I am. Hello and welcome to my life. And just to be clear, of it doesn't make sense because of spelling, blame the iPod.